As Without, So Without

Feeling like there is a war going on inside?

The internal world will project itself outward without you consciously choosing.

In this way, your inner world has infinite creative and destructive potential.

You choose which one comes to life.

The food you intake. The company you keep. The environment you spend time in.

All influence you.

In some scenarios this is self-evident.

If it is hot outside, and I go outside, then I will feel hot.

Therefore, if I want to avoid suffering in the glaring sun, then I should take action and go inside or seek shade.

Many of the influences of the world are more subtle than the hot rays of the sun, which shifts what action must be taken to avoid suffering.

There is no going inside a building to escape your thoughts.

Yes, there are coping mechanisms. Distractions in the form of sex, alcohol, and a multitude of techniques to avoid facing your inner world.

You cannot hide from yourself, not truly, but you can create a new relationship with your thoughts and feelings.

Allowing them to bubble up as they will.

Holding space for them and validating them.

Rather than judging them or trying to suppress them.

Over time, just like a grumbling stomach that becomes quiet after being fed, the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions changes to be more in alignment with you.

Is it valuable for your stomach to growl at you to remind you about your hunger?

At a most basic level, yes of course.

What about the anger that rises when you feel a boundary has been crossed?

Again, an invaluable trait that allows you to uphold the values you hold dear.

Neither of these truths mean that the experience of a growling stomach or the flash of anger is pleasant.

That is not their purpose.

To be a doormat of a human being is not right.

To be a person who lashes out violently in reaction to a trivial mistake of another is wrong.

The first seems as if their capacity for anger, self-defense, or boundary setting is non-existent.

The other comes off as a loose cannon that has everyone walking on eggshells around them.

Both people, upon introspection and holding space for themselves, likely want to return to the middle ground.

If you are like me, then there are areas of emotional growth where I seek my own version of this middle ground.

Where can I be more open?

When do I feel the most grounded?

How can I connect more deeply with others?

Through journaling, vulnerable conversations with others, and time spent in quiet contemplation, I have slowly begun to unpack my initial answers to these questions.

What tools or practices serve you well in the journey back home to yourself?